Who Are You Kidding?

It was a special morning…an anniversary.  We dropped the kids to school and headed into town. Breakfast has always been my favorite meal.  I love relaxing over great coffee and healthy fresh food, especially in one of our great local cafes.

We had not spent much time together recently.  I suggested we have breakfast.  We parked the car and walked through the picturesque town just waking up.  The newspapers were laid out in front of the kiosk, the boutiques and gift shops still sleeping.

The sounds and smells of coffee brewing drifted over as we chose to sit outside and watch the few morning strollers walk by, the shop owners starting their day.

One of best things about living in a small town is getting to know everyone.  It’s a friendly place, the atmosphere was warm and accepting.  I felt at home.

We ordered.  The coffee arrived.  I took a deep breath and we began talking.

Then my phone rang.  I wouldn’t usually answer I said, but this is urgent, it will just take a moment.  It took just a moment.  But it took so much more than that.

He gazed away, almost managing to hide the flicker of disappointment and resign.  He said nothing, he didn’t need to.

When did it happen?

What were we thinking?

When did we decide that it’s okay to carry a phone and answer it at any time, no matter where we are and what we are doing?

When did we start thinking that we needed to be contactable at all times?

When did we forget to be truly present in the moments that are the most important?

When did I forget?

For years I took great pride in not being dependent on ‘being contactable’ all the time.

I would laugh at the absurdity of people calling their partners from the supermarket to check what’s in the fridge.

I would judge all those business men that would talk on their phones while watching their kids in the playground.

I would frown at the mothers that didn’t notice their kids calling out for attention while they continued chatting with their friends.

I claimed to be fully present at all times.

Who was I kidding? How incredibly arrogant I have been.

And so, realizing the humanity of the distracted and distracting world we live in, I’m doing my best.

I’m trying to be mindful and present.  Not at all times, that’s just not possible.  But at least to be aware of those special moments…and as I become more aware, they become more frequent!

Being present is such a gift to the person you chose to be with.  It is the ultimate gift.

For me, it’s no longer enough to be present when I coach, to be completely present when I tell stories or when I’m with my clients.