Finding Time to Learn About Your Inner Critic
By: Paula Eder (see my bio)
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Today, we identify the methods and the repercussions of this inner voice.
1. The inner critic is dualistic and absolute.
The inner critic survives on rules and regulations. Its
primary mission is to maintain the status quo; therefore,
it classifies everything as right or wrong, black or white.
2. The inner critic attacks through both words and actions.
Like a coordinated tag team, the inner critic uses both
judgmental words and controlling actions to keep you in
your place. So this subself attempts to intimidate you
into making life choices and life decisions that are
narrow and constrained.
3. The inner critic keeps you stuck.
By limiting you in one area of your life, your inner
critic inhibits your initiative in ALL areas. This
constricts your time choices, your sense of self, and
how you venture into the world.
4. Your inner critic diminishes your energy.
Like wearing clothes that are too tight, listening to the
messages of your inner critic restricts your focus and your
energy. You lose the ability to cultivate ease and flow in
your life or to look at options creatively. This cheats you
of the pleasure of actively enjoying and participating in
innovative thinking and new ideas.
5. Your inner critic is a major player in your psyche.
Your inner critic controls the master switch for several
of your other subselves. For example, after the critic
condemns, the saboteur serves as the henchman who punishes
you for being so “bad”. The perfectionist seeks redemption
by attempting to attain a static “flawlessness”. How you
see yourself can be marred by these distortions. So this
certainly inhibits your zest for life and for exploration.
Your inner critic can be all-pervasive. It attempts to impose
a stranglehold on your behavior, your thoughts, how you see
yourself, and the choices you make.
Your critic creates a closed system of negativity, hardening
your heart to yourself, to others, and to new possibilities.
It inhibits creativity and growth.
In the constellation of subselves, your critic holds a pivotal
and central position. It is intimately connected to both the
saboteur and the perfectionist.
If you struggle with perfectionism, try shifting your focus
from performance to balance. Assert to your inner critic, by
creating an affirmation and mantra, that you are “perfectly”
capable of making time choices that create a harmonious flow.
Related Posts
- Perfection Paralysis Can be Overcome with Logical Questions
- Finding Time, Focus and Flow with the Pomodoro Technique!
- Finding Time for What Matters Most
- Finding Time Boundaries in Times of Stress and Times of Calm
- Finding Time for Balance
Coach Paula Eder, Ph.D., The Time Finder Expert, has 35 years of success helping individuals, small businesses, and solopreneurs align their time choices with their life goals and core values. Heart-based time management is her passion. Paula enjoys nothing more than working with people to recognize and help facilitate the small time choices that lead to large, life changes … because the way you use your time is the way you live your life!
If you're ready to stop feeling overwhelmed, sign up for Paula's FREE Finding Time Boundary Template at http://www.findingtime.net/ezine.html/. And for more time tips and techniques, visit Paula's Blog at http://thetimefinder.com.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
As an entrepreneur, I face my inner critic on a regular basis. You always have doubts and fears about what you can do with your business. It’s important not to let the inner critic hold you down or cloud your judgment because you can really miss out on some amazing opportunities. That’s not to say you should throw caution to the wind, but just don’t let the first negative thought crush every new idea.
April 14th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Thank you for your comment. I thoroughly agree about the importance of not letting your inner critic cloud your judgment or hold you back. And I love your point that the answer to the inner critic is definitely not to “throw caution to the wind!”
I believe that the third path is preferable – that of countering the critic with adult questions, insights, and messages to oneself. Taking that path means bringing in that “judgment” that you refer to. Choices that are informed by balanced, adult judgment, aren’t choices that are later regretted – because they are choices that are fully owned.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Hi Paula,
I liken the inner critic to our ego. It’s that voice that tells us why we can’t do certain things, why we aren’t good enough, why we should quit before we start.
We can be our own worst enemy or our emancipator. We were designed in the image of perfection and the more frequently that we can tap into our higher self through meditation and affirmations the less we hear our inner critic.
Thanks for sharing your insight.
Ryan