As I’m going through a thrilling time of professional growth, I’m going through the most difficult time personally, as I work to keep my marriage together. As most mom entrepreneurs can relate to there are so many things to juggle – work, kids, marriage, self, friendships and family. Keeping them all going is hard and right now my marriage is the piece that’s challenged.

Last Friday I attended Debbie Phillips Woman on Fire Tea Party in NYC. Debbie’s question to the 15 women present, was “What are you on fire about, or not?” I was second to the last to answer and surprisingly enough I ended up sharing some of the emotional tolls my entrepreneurial life has been having on my personal life, especially my marriage.

Things began changing when my husband lost his job. I fantasized that he’d want to jump on board with Metromom and run with certain parts of the business. BUT it’s my dream, not his. He’s supportive and helps out but not to the degree that I’d like. I’ve come to realize that’s part of the challenge of running a business – lots of ideas and visions for the future but you often go it alone.

As women we compartmentalize. But it’s taking a toll on me. I’m not sleeping well and I’m perpetually tired. (Good news is I’m eating well, since that’s often something to go for me). Yet at the same time, as I’m birthing new divisions of my business, my creativity is at a new height. I’m inspired and often spend my sleepless nights writing about my ideas, clarity, truth and vulnerability.

The truth is I’ve let my focus over these months be business and kids and I haven’t attended to my marriage. Date nights have been a thing of the past, and we’ve neglected finding moments in the day to connect about that which is important to us. We’ve become roommates, two ships passing in the night. I truly love him, who he is as a man and a father, but I can’t seem to connect with him.

There are limited hours in the day to connect which is really painful for me since at my core I’m a connector and value that above most things in my life. I’m seeing that it’s important for my husband and I to take the time, invest in ourselves, figure out how to reconnect, be the parents we want to be, instill the values we want in our children and have fun together.

I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to relationships. The friendships that I have, I treasure and I invest time into nurturing them. I’ve not been doing that with my husband. But I’m committed to changing that pattern. We had our first session with a new therapist with the goal of reconnecting and bringing fun back into our lives. Realistically, it’s not going to happen for us without a third party, and honestly it’s nice carving out the therapy time just for us.

Here I am turning 45 with a business I love, kids I love (but who challenge and exhaust me with their varying demands) and a marriage that needs some TLC.

Why am I sharing this? My dad has asked me my whole life, “Kim, why do you need to drop your pants for everyone?” The fact is this is who I’ve always been, someone who’s brutally honest. As I’ve stepped into having an internet-based business the challenge for me becomes how much of that truth do I let out? For me, I intuitively know the answer – that if I can share what I’m going through (as long as I’m working to improve it), I trust that others can benefit. I can’t be the only one going through this.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under Personal Development, The SELF of Self Employment, Time Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Kim DeYoung is the original Metromom—a driven, evolving woman committed to her family, her career and achieving success on her own terms. Also known as the “Get It Done Girl”, Kim is the dynamic and creative force behind Metromom.com, a comprehensive resource for the busy mom entrepreneur, providing solutions on marketing, money, mindset and motherhood.