The definition of a contract in Webster’s Dictionary is “a binding agreement between two or more persons.” Contracts have many purposes. We expect contracts to define expectations and purpose as well as limitations. They clarify the parameters in the agreement.  Typically, they are explicit and tangible. This is the typical view of a contract.

Then there are the negative contracts. Negative contracts are little known facts which have far reaching implications. They are typically between two or more people. There is no statute of limitations. Negative contracts are not concrete and written on paper. You might be in one and not even be aware of it. The negative contracts are implicit and intangible. They are powerful.

Okay, now I have your attention. Let me explain. This concept has to do with our relationships. They could either be relationships you were in or ones that you observed.

Think about an unhealthy and conditional relationship. You weren’t accepted for who you are. This other person was controlling. You were expected to be someone that you were not. Your needs were secondary. For you, it felt your needs were not important to this person.  You wanted this person’s love and attention, but could never get it in the way you needed it.

One example would be Sandy growing up with her critical mother. Sandy was frequently told by her mother that her school grades were never good enough. If Sandy had a report card with three A’s and one B, her mother would ask her why she got a B in that one class instead of being proud that Sandy made the Honor Roll. It was always like this. Sandy was a great student, but her mother always had a way of taking her successes away from her and pointing out the one little detail that was overlooked.

Sandy learned she could never apply herself enough. Even when she did her best and received recognition from others, she only saw the little detail that she overlooked. Growing her business was always a struggle. She tried so hard to get approval from others, affiliates and clients. As a result, she became a hard worker with a full practice. Sandy, however, always undersold herself. Her prices were well below what she was worth. She had difficulty asking for payment and frequently gave services away. What Sandy struggled with was the fact that she did not feel that she deserved to be paid for her services.

Her subconscious, negative contract prevented her from raising her fees. This was due to the  fact that as a child she did not feel she ever did good enough. Her mother was very good at pointing out her flaws, but not her strengths. She was always hoping for approval from her mother and let down time and time again. She continues to be emotionally bound to her mother waiting for approval of her worthiness, which she sadly realizes will never come. Sandy is still waiting for her mother to be proud that she got the A’s. As long as she maintains this need for approval from her mother, she will never feel she is worthy of raising her fees to reflect the true value of her services and what she provides to her clients.

The negative contract which prevents Sandy from growing her business easily and getting compensated for what she is worth is based upon her core relationship with her mother. In order to have a relationship with her mother, she always needed to be flawed in some way. This pattern, this negative contract, has been intact for decades. Sandy is not aware of the core issue which prevents her from stepping into her greatness.

The majority of us have negative contracts. A belief we developed at a much younger age which continues to be seen as a truth. The negative contract is a silent killer to your success. It will contribute to sabotage each and every time until you have taken away its silent power.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 24th, 2009 at 9:00 pm and is filed under Business Planning, Law of Attraction, Self Employment Law. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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