Many religions and spiritual traditions tell us that the
One, the Absolute, the Spirit is changeless.
That everything comes from this one creative source.
However, the body of the universe –all the
things created out of that one source –including us-cannot help but
change!
During our lives we encounter
many changes and transitions. What’s the difference and how can you handle them
with grace?
William Bridges, in his book “The Way of Transition” said
that after his wife of many years died, he began to see how personal transition
can open up vistas that are rightly called spiritual.
He discovered a new understanding of
transition and new ways of helping people to find meaning in it.
He realized that discovering things about
life doesn’t fit a neat pattern, but rather, you can discover “truths” over and
over through different angles.
He says most people don’t resist change –they resist
transition. Change is a situational shift.
For example, moving to a new house is a change.
Transition is the process of letting go of
the way things used to be and then taking hold of the way they subsequently
become.
In between the letting go and
taking hold –there is a chaotic, but potentially creative “neutral zone” when
things aren’t the old way, but aren’t really the new way yet either.
So, we see a three phase process to
transition:
ending, neutral zone and
beginning again.
Without transition, a
change is mechanical, empty, and superficial.
If transition does not occur, or if it is begun but aborted, people end
up (mentally and emotionally) back where they started, and the change doesn’t
work.
In spite of the new house or
relationship nothing is really different.
We resist transition because it takes much longer than change
and leaves us in limbo, in that neutral zone while a replacement reality and a
new self is gradually being formed.
But
believe it or not, the resulting state of chaos is actually a fertile state, a
creative state, a state of pure energy and great potential.
An outer loss is a surrogate for some inner
relinquishment that must be made but is difficult to describe.
What is it time to let go of?
Not so much the relationship or the job, but
rather the hopes, fears, dreams and beliefs we have attached to them.
You are likely to do better with the ending
if you honor the old life for all that it did for you.
Allow yourself time to grieve and/or honor the ending.
Allow plenty of time to sit in the neutral,
sorting out stage. When ready, begin to vision, go inside for guidance, to
start to catch an idea of what the new beginning will look like.
Then take action.
And there you are -in your new beginning.
Embrace your changes and promise yourself
you’ll fully experience the transition that your changes bring. Take your time,
honor yourself and your feelings and get support through transitions.
In the end, you will have lived your life
more fully and authentically.
