Self-Confidence

Most of us think that confidence is the product of the things we do. We think that after we learn a new skill or complete a university degree, we will feel more confident. I am proposing to you that we don’t need to accomplish things before we can feel confident. Confidence is not a by-product of mastering something external. It is an internal concept, a belief in ourselves that we will eventually master what we undertake. It is possible for us to access our beautiful inner confidence right now, without achieving even one more goal. Of course, we will have dreams and goals as long as we live, but we do not need to tie them to our sense of self-confidence.

In one lifetime, there are only so many things we can engage in and so many activities we can master. Just think about it. Can anyone become a doctor, an engineer, a scuba diving instructor, an actor all at the same time? No! We can only do a few things at any one time, and when we master them we can feel confident about our ability to do them. But we cannot master everything—and we shouldn’t try. Instead, we need to find what we are passionate about and express that in the world.

Is anyone good at something new when they first start? No. It is unrealistic to expect to be the best at something right away. Learning a new skill and practicing it takes time. Only after a period of time—sometimes a long period—will we master the skill and feel confident in our ability.

Take a look at something you are good at now, and then look back to the time when you were first learning it. You will remember when you were not confident about what you were doing. This is a process. We become confident after we have practiced for a long time.

I would like to share an example from my own life. My business is public speaking and sharing information with audiences who want to learn how to improve the quality of their lives. When I started public speaking, I was very nervous. I didn’t feel confident at all. Now I just love it. I apply the same process to everything I undertake. I know I’m not going to feel confident right at the start, but I will eventually master the skill and become really good at it.

Confidence is about connecting with your desires, showing up to take action toward your goals, and enjoying the journey. You will see your confidence emerge slowly but surely during the process of learning.

Some of us have old tapes playing in our heads, with the negative messages we received while growing up. Those messages sneak in when we start something new. Instead of encouraging us, those messages beat us up every time we make a mistake, every time we don’t get it right. The truth is that when we begin to do things right, our subconscious learns the new right way. It’s all about practice.

How do you support yourself when you want to learn something new? Do you think encouraging thoughts about what you are learning? If not, then ask yourself why. Think about a time when you learned something new, and build on the energy of that success to boost your confidence right now. Remembering your beautiful, confident self is all it takes.