This is for the Ladies. In her current big hit “Single Ladies”, Beyonce sings “if you like it then you better put a ring on it”. She’s advising single gals on what to tell their boyfriends (I guess you got that). I know this because I have a teenage daughter who keeps her boomer mom up to date. The tune is catchy and Beyonce is certainly talented.
As I listened to this song a number of times though, I realized there was a clear message that I’ve been trying to communicate to my women clients for some time. Over and over I see women entrepreneurs who are multi-talented, brilliant, hard working, warm, loving, humorous and passionate. Some come to me frustrated because they have not been reaching their potential or fulfilling their dreams of success and a better life. Often overwhelmed and unsure, they have been selling themselves short and not living the life of happiness and success they envisioned. Some even lose motivation and give up, or they push forward with grim determination even though the passion has run dry. They are settling for much less than they deserve and I see their confusion as to why.
I feel great compassion and understanding for these women because for some years I was one of them. No more. I woke up. It took years of inner work and determination, incredible women mentors and friends and maybe just learning from my mistakes. As were most women in my boomer generation, I was totally and unknowingly conditioned to believe that I needed to be a people pleaser and care taker and that I needed to put other’s needs and goals so ahead of my own that I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Where’s the balance in that?
As women we often give in, give up, give out, give, give and give until we’re running on empty. And then we wonder why we don’t have the time, energy or motivation to nurture and grow our business. So many of us say we want balance, but often balance is interpreted not as having time away from work for family life, but as finding a way to steal a bit of time away from family and other outside obligations for doing fulfilling work that we love.
As women we need to find our inner power to lead the life our heart is telling us to lead, which may not be the exact life your spouse, parents, children or friends are telling you to lead. Compromise may be necessary, but speaking of giving--you have a unique gift to give the world. You can share your talents and passion with the world only if you have the strength each day to ask yourself, “is this right for me, or am I following someone else’s agenda? Am I devoting the focused time I need to succeed? Am I setting big goals and going for them? If not, what am I afraid of? Who am I afraid of not pleasing?"
Marianne Williamson was right when she said: “
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I’m letting my light shine. Wanna join me?
