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Interpersonal Skills

Easier said than done, huh? Change, in and of itself, can be downright scary due to the fear of the unknown. However, if we’re doing the same thing (that we know doesn’t work), time and time again, but expecting DIFFERENT results…Well, that’s the definition of insanity!

In some ways, we’re all insane. Does this sound familiar-(a personal Ouch!??) Do you, or someone you know, continue to run around in circles either SAYING it’ll be different this time? It might be finding a new love that’ll be nicer to me or  thinking “I’ll lose this extra weight; exercise more; snack less”; “I will do something -quit my job; start a business; find more meaning... I just need a change!”

That works, right? We (it is more powerful to say “I, not, you or we!) “Ok, I own this!” Somehow what we say we want the most just doesn’t happen! We don’t get around to it. How come? We want it, right? But, often, wanting it is not enough! We spend countless hours dreaming about this new situation and how great we’ll feel when we get it but the doing part just doesn’t occur!

I assure you - this isn’t one of those “you ought to be ashamed of yourself” i.e. “Motivational” articles. I’m just as guilty of not doing something I say I want as anyone else is.

I’m not telling you anything I, myself, haven’t done…or not done! I did a search on “Procrastination” and got over 100,000 “hits” Sheesh! “Any avoidance of a task which needs to be accomplished” I like that definition. It’s nice, generic & can explain many things - changing careers, feeling “trapped” but not doing anything about it, clutter in our closets, in our lives…everywhere! The list goes on!

It’s a vicious cycle. There’s a bit (or a lot!), of “beating yourself up” through procrastination. No one is “perfect”. You know you should do “X”, be more “Y”, thought “Z”. The list goes on and on but, it’s tough to change this habit. It’s said it takes at least 21 days to make something new you do a habit! The bigger the change the more time it takes!

It’s easier to do what you’ve always done. It’s comfortable sort of like slipping into a pair of old jeans. You know the ones that make your stomach look flat, your butt higher and rounded and your legs long like a super model’s! Until those jeans (or our destructive habits), feel too tight, cut off our circulation and intrude on our image of our self, we won’t do anything about it. But when there are enough negative outcomes, we HAVE to do something different. We change. Yes, change is scary. But, not changing can be scarier!