Strange but true: When trying to make life changes, most people violate the most fundamental law in all of psychology.
It's called the “law of effect,” and it simply states that actions resulting in rewards are strengthened and likely to recur. Sound obvious? Yes. Everyone does it? No. In fact, most people do the opposite.
Consider the dieter who sticks to her diet for two weeks, and then has a setback by eating ice cream. She should reward herself for two weeks of solid progress, forgive her minor setback, and get back to focusing on her diet. But it is a far more common reaction to mentally beat herself up for "breaking" her diet, give up, and pig out.
The same process happens all the time for people trying to quit smoking, build businesses, or make any kind of life change. Instead of rewarding progress, we overlook it. Instead of forgiving our setbacks, we dwell on them, and use them as reasons to quit.
One way to avoid this tendency is to create a system of rewards for your own personal success, a technique psychologists call “contingency management.” Research shows it is one of the most powerful techniques for personal change, but one of the least commonly used. It has proven effective in aiding all kinds of life changes, including:
Self-rewards are easy to set up. Identify an important goal, and a few rewards that you value, perhaps dinner at a nice restaurant, an afternoon hike, a small shopping spree, etc. If the goal is relatively modest, then reward yourself for achieving the goal (a “bonus” system). If the goal is more ambitious, identify a key milestone (e.g., making it halfway) or some measure of progress (e.g., ten hours of goal-directed work per week), and reward yourself for that progress. This is called a “piece-rate” system.
Consider a few examples. Writer Jack London committed himself to writing at least 1000 words a day, and rewarded himself by drinking in saloons. No 1000 words, no booze. For him, it was a very motivating system.
In institutional settings like mental hospitals, psychologists often create formal reward systems called “token economies.” Patients receive plastic coins or tokens for engaging in appropriate behaviors such as getting up on time, cleaning their rooms, or cooperating with others. They can then “spend” those tokens on rewards like watching TV, taking trips into town, or upgrading to a nicer bedroom.
If you try to create a formal self-reward system, you'll find the most common stumbling block is “contract infidelity” – making a self-reward plan, but not sticking to it. Usually this means giving yourself the reward without accomplishing the goal.
To avoid this problem, try the “refund & deposit” technique. Suppose you want to lose 10 pounds. Give a good friend $500, and have him or her return the money at the rate of $50 per pound lost. This system rewards progress, minimizes contract infidelity, and makes instant gratification a positive force for change.
There are many natural rewards to losing weight, like looking and feeling better. Unfortunately, those rewards are months into the future. Pizza, in contrast, can be delivered in 30 minutes or less. The deposit-and-refund method makes instant gratification work for you -- lose just one pound, and get an immediate reward.
This process can work with small amounts of money, and brings other success dynamics into play, like public commitment and social support. Consider this example from a college student who applied the deposit-and-refund method to his goal of participating more in class:
“I gave a good friend five dollars... He would give it back to me one dollar at a time after he had checked my records... to see if I had spoken up in class according to my goals. Two other friends... displayed a lot of interest in my self-modification plan, and this put some social pressure on me. They would also compliment me when I reported my results... They seemed to set off a positive emotional response in me that was very motivating.”
(quote from from Watson & Tharp's Self-Directed Behavior: Self-Modification for Personal Adjustment).
This technique can have lasting effects. One study found that weight lost using this process was maintained for a year, even though the self-reward period lasted only a few months. For even greater effectiveness, identify a group of friends with similar ambitions, and use the deposit-and-refund method as a team.
The bottom line: People who reward their progress achieve more, and are happier, than those who don't. It doesn't matter whether you reward yourself informally, or use the deposit-and-refund method. What matters is avoiding the common pattern of overlooking success, and beating yourself up over setbacks.
© Copyright 2006, Dr. Stephen Kraus
