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Self-Care

Have you ever noticed how the waves in the ocean have a definite rhythm? They have a surge of power as they crash towards the shore and then they have a relaxed recovery as they roll back into the sea.  Have you ever noticed how your body, your physical energy, also has a very definite rhythm?  Have you heard people say or said yourself, �I�m a morning person� or �I do my best work in the evening�? That is one way of recognizing your natural energy flows. Have you ever gotten involved with a new client or project team that holds 4 hour meeting with 20 agenda items?  At the end, your mind is mush and your body can hardly move. That is another example of feeling your natural energy flows.

In the book, The Power of Full Engagement Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz liken our body�s physical energy to that of a muscle that needs time to exert and recover.  Their work with athletes clearly showed that top performers are very aware of exerting and relaxing.  Between shots on the tennis court or plays on the football field, each athlete has developed an exact pre-shot routine, style of execution and has an equally developed recovery routine.

So, I would suspect that most solo entrepreneurs in today�s 7/24 business world are masters at executing or powering through endless meetings and projects.  The question is, when was the last time you consciously recovered from a particularly intense business activity?

You need your own personal physical recovery routine.  Some examples might be:

� A 10-minute conversation with a colleague or friend about something other than work
� A 10-minute walk around the block
� Deep breathing
� Closing you office door and doing a few easy yoga moves
� Reading a quick article
� Returning a fun phone call

To sustain full engagement, we must take a recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes. If you begin to build into your schedule the personal rhythm of recovery time after each powerful execution; you will be on your way to sustainable top performance and living your life from the inside out.

Spiritual Energy!

After studying our relationship to physical energy, I would like to suggest that we look at the level and use of spiritual energy in our lives. Living a life of purpose fuels spiritual energy. That means living your life in concert with your PERSONAL VALUES. Many of my clients come to me looking for work/life balance. I tell them that we can work on a mountain of �techniques� for aligning different areas of your life, but the key to fulfillment lies in another area. To achieve balance in one�s own life you must first identify your PERSONAL VALUES and then, build an environment in which you can live by those values.

The most common response that I get to this statement is, �Coach Vickie, how can I live by my values when my clients are all part of __________ (corporation, firm, organization) who couldn�t careless about my values?� My challenge to that individual is to identify their 3 to 5 most important personal values. I assure them that they have more control in their lives than they think.

I have a client.  I will call him Fred.  Fred is brilliant at what he does, but his clients have begun to criticize him for his lack of follow through and for being unreliable. He was crushed because his own personal values were integrity, honesty and fairness. As we worked together, Fred discovered that he had tried every �follow through� technique in the book and always failed. The real problem was that Fred had a great need for control. We finally agreed that in order for Fred to truly live his values, he had to give up his need for control and learn to trust in the ability of the people around him. As he began to implement his personal values, his entire world began to develop sustainable top performance, and his clients were once again, thrilled with his work.

My challenge to you is to discover your values and have the courage to be truthful with yourself and those around you. Congratulations! You are well on your way to successfully living your life from the inside out, by deriving results from within.

Personal Values!

Are you having trouble finding those 3 to 5 personal values in your life? Tune into your heart, your head and your gut�

Why are there so many self-help books out there? Do we truly believe that some author might know us better than we know ourselves? Take clues from what your heart really tells you, listen to your gut and let your mind think through to a positive place rather than sabotaging what your instinct is trying to tell you.

Cindy was the President of a successful coaching firm. She was always running late and keeping everyone (clients, partners, colleagues) waiting for scheduled appointments. I worked with her on some intense discovery and she realized that her number one value was �respect for others�. When asked the obvious question of how her value was aligned with her behaviors, her mind immediately kicked into rationalization mode. When clients called, she had to talk with them. And, what was she supposed to do when her partner demanded to see her? I suggested that for one week she agree to stick to her schedule. The key for Cindy was deciding on a substitute behavior to use. She listened to her gut and decided that she would summon the courage to be honest. Ten minutes before the scheduled end of a meeting, she would suggest that they begin to wrap up because she has made it her personal policy not to keep people waiting. That is so empowering! It is also the exact formula to sustaining top performance.

Still struggling with your personal values? Ask yourself the following questions:
� Who is it that I really respect? What are the three things that I respect most about them?
� Who am I at my best?
� At the end of my life what will be the 3 biggest lessons that I have learned?
� What is the one sentence that I would like on my tombstone?
� List your top 5 strengths.
� List your top 5 values.
� Write 3 sentences reflecting your deepest values.

Commit to living by these values each and every day. Congratulations! You are well on your way to sustaining top performance by deriving results from within.

Creating Daily Rituals!

Think back to six months ago, what were your goals? Have you managed to slow down yet? Of course not. This brings me to the subject that always emerges during the course of a client/coach relationship � work/life balance?

I have a deceptively simple, yet difficult to implement, formula for addressing this issue. There are 3 steps:

1. Be honest with yourself and be courageous in facing the rest of the world.
2. Find 3 COMPELLING reasons to make balance a priority in your life.
3. Build daily behavioral rituals into your schedule so that they eventually become habits.

Earlier in this article, I wrote that key to living a purposeful life is to live by your values. Then we explored trusting your heart, your head and your gut to know where you want to go. That takes care of steps 1 and 2. Now, let�s look at building daily behavioral rituals to achieve the balance that you seek.

Rituals create a means by which we translate values into actions in all parts of our life. The most important role of rituals is to balance energy expenditure and energy renewal. All top performers know that this balance is the key to sustaining top performance, maintaining their energy and regulating behavior. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What can I do on a daily basis to show the important people in my life that I care about them?
2. What can I do on a daily basis to prepare myself for the workday in the morning and to prepare myself for the joy of ending my day with my family?
3. What can I do on a weekly basis to regenerate my spirit?

The answers to these questions are the key to successful life balance. Precision and specificity are crucial during the first 30 to 60 days of building a ritual. Stating exactly when and where you will�be with your family, go to the gym, connect with friends or pursue a volunteer commitment�is critical to successful implementation. Putting these activities on your schedule and making them a high priority and then TRACKING your success is a must. Effective rituals need to be positive (I will eat healthy, I will be home for dinner 3 days a week, I will respect my co-workers). Focus on one change at time, until it feels natural, as if you have been doing it all your life.

Change is messy � but also very rewarding. Congratulations on living a life of purpose and deriving results from within.

As a Mentor Coach for Solo Entrepreneurs, Vickie works with your personal energy and how to make the most out of each and every day, so that your business is more successful than your wildest dreams.