“I’m stuck” my client says.
“Tell me about being stuck,” I ask.
“It’s like I know what to do and I’m just not doing it. It’s almost like I see what I want, and part of me wants to create this amazing business and part of me is in fear of what my life will be like if I create it. Do I really want to have a seven figure business?”
Maybe you can relate?
Do you ever feel like part of you wants something and there is another part of you that starts freaking out at what you will have to give up in order to have the goal? That’s called a values conflict. It’s an internal war that is at the root of 95% of being stuck.
Feeling like you are stuck is actually an opportunity. The opportunity is to slow down (just enough) to listen to the voice inside that is trying to get your attention. The “feeling” of being stuck is just that…a feeling. It’s usually not real — no one poured cement around your feet so you can’t move forward.
We all have an internal protector. The protector’s job is to make sure we don’t get hurt. At some point in our life we create a picture of what we want, we get clear about priorities and values and our protector takes on the job of making sure anything that gets in the way of that gets squashed.
But what happens is that as you begin to grow and discover new goals and dreams, our protector doesn’t always get the update on what our new priorities and goals are. Often in coaching a client, we stumble into the “stuckness” and find that the protector is at war with the visionary who has new goals and dreams.
So what do you do if you find yourself stuck in the war between your protector and your visionary? Here are four of the most effective strategies to stop the internal war and get back on track.
1. Clarify Your Values.
If you are stuck then it’s quite possible you are no longer clear about what’s important to you. By spending 30 minutes reacquainting yourself with your current and desired values, you can break through just about any barrier. You see, your current results are actually a reflection of your values. If you don’t like your results, you have to look at your values first. Need help? This is one of the first steps your coach takes with you in the Fast-Track to a 6 & 7 Figure Lifestyle Business Mastermind Program. You can also do the self-study version in the
ULTIMATE Success Generator.
2. Chunk up.
This is a technique to uncover what the protector and visionary share as a common goal or priority. It’s the umbrella goal – the thing that both parts of you truly want. For example: If your protector is focused on keeping you from getting too overwhelmed and the visionary is trying to build a team, the protector may feel that building a team will cause more overwhelm. But if you can see that actually both parts of you are actually pursuing more freedom, then everyone can start to play nice and support the bigger purpose!
3. Reframe.
Often times the way we have been seeing the stuckness is layered with guilt, frustration and failure. If you reframe what’s happening from being stuck into a gift that is allowing you to see something else, then we loosen the vice grip and the stuckness begins to dissolve into clarity.
4. Release the Old.
Another way we get stuck is by trying to use old skills and mindsets to solve new problems. What you did to get your business going is not going to be the same as what you do to sustain success and wealth. Be willing to let go of old ways of being, past belief systems, “the technician” behavior and make room for more effective strategies for wealth and success building.
My challenge to you is if you feel stuck (or the next time you are there) ask yourself this question. “What is being stuck protecting me from?” There is ALWAYS a reason…it’s time to tell the truth and find out. Then use one of the four strategies above to stop the war and get back on track.
Now I want to give you permission to ask for help with this. It’s not easy to look into your blindspots and uncover your own internal war. As the saying goes, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking it was created with.” That’s what coaches are for!
