Time management tips help you create a framework for personal growth by solving recurrent problems. Learn 3 steps to use compassionate curiosity to transform a difficult part of your day. Successfully address troublesome issues that undermine your wellbeing, steal your time and deplete your energy.
“Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand”
Convert the worst part of your day to a fresh path forward.
Much potential is trapped in frustration, embarrassment and uncertainty. Would you like help with the part of your day that troubles you most? Using these 3 steps, you become the guide you’ve longed for. Here’s how:
1. Describe this uncomfortable recurring situation.
I recommend writing about it, quickly and without censorship. Only you will read it, so include everything you would confide to a trusted friend. Express any self-doubts, regrets and resentments. And as you do this, let pent-up feelings flow through you and out of you.
2. Ask yourself kind and searching questions:
Never under-estimate your power to get to the heart of the matter. You may touch upon the central issues the first day, or it might take a number of writing sessions. What matters is that you commit to a fresh approach. Write down any and all questions that you would pose to a friend who wrestled with a similar issue. Be willing to challenge old assumptions.
3. Open yourself to surprise.
Frustration, embarrassment and uncertainty hold one thing in common: you feel them when you empower forces outside yourself. To graduate beyond feeling paralyzed, experiment with shifting the power back into your hands (where it always was – unseen and untapped). Your mind-shift will illuminate new possibilities!
- When Frustrated: Explore letting go of what you want from others. What changes? Envision taking initiative to re-define the impasse. Brainstorm scenarios. What potentials open up?
- When Embarrassed: Consider forging a new approach based on taking full responsibility for what you wish to hide. Make these lessons the cornerstone of new efforts! (Think back to inspirational stories that feature a serious setback as “the best thing that ever happened to me.”)
- When Uncertain: Confide your fears and doubts as you journal. Bring full empathy to yourself. Also recognize that in committing to learning and growing, the uncertain can be embraced as your new set of lessons! Think back to some of the ways you’ve already overcome serious obstacles and self-doubt. Ask yourself what skills you would like to learn in confronting this new set of challenges. Then use your answer as a foundation to build upon.
What Makes Compassionate Curiosity So Powerful?
Compassionate curiosity combines two very different powers that you have possessed since birth. Now use them in tandem to activate your potential!
Compassion is your humanity. It’s what you experience when you spontaneously empathize with others and wish the best for them. At the same time, you respect their ability to struggle and evolve, growing in independence and confidence. This is the quality of love you deserve, and that you can provide to yourself!
Curiosity is your open encounter with the world. In the same way that a child’s curiosity opens new doors every day, your curiosity is your embrace of the unknown.
Listen to your self-talk. When you hear defeatism, blame and bitterness, gently take note. Then open up your options and create questions that challenge old assumptions. By championing your growth using compassionate curiosity, you will emerge from daily ordeals with new levels of insight, competence and good will!© Copyright 2013 Paula Eder, Ph.D.