Time management tips often fail to address one of the most serious drains on your time – unresolved anger. Discover 3 dangerous anger traps and learn a simple and powerful 3-step exercise to free your time and boost your effectiveness!
3 Deadly and Time Consuming Anger Traps
1. Denying you’re angry blinds your judgment.
You can’t treat an illness that you deny or fail to diagnose. Likewise, you can’t manage unclaimed feelings bubbling beneath the surface. When you tune out anger, you tune out clarity and lose competence. Anger-based mistakes take days, weeks or months to address, if they can be fixed at all.
2. Rehashing grievances immobilizes you.
Rehearsing, justifying, and fuming are notorious time-wasters guaranteed to keep you angry and stuck. Communication suffers, problem solving is impaired, and opportunities to excel fly out the window.
3. Splattering anger destroys good will and effectiveness.
Sooner or later anger escapes. Maybe you vent it inappropriately. Perhaps logistical discussions escalate into messy exchanges. Splattered anger hurts relationships and lowers self-esteem. Cooperation and communication suffer, work takes more time, and results are lackluster.
The following exercise is guaranteed to save time, restore effectiveness, and safeguard important relationships.
3 Steps to Spring the Anger Trap and Free Up Your Time
1. Let it rip – in an unsent anger letter.
Censor nothing. Let off steam now, so you can think more clearly later. Recording every grievance and exploring your feelings encourages a shift in perspective. Then stand, stretch and move your energy.
Rereading your letter(s), what do you discover? How does your sense of personal power evolve? Bring anything you learn to the next all-important step.
2. Strengthen your autonomy to empower yourself.
When you assume full responsibility for your personal response, you gain power and flexibility over how you use your time.
Forget what’s “fair” (which you rarely if ever control.) Redirect your energy to brainstorm how you can mobilize yourself. When you fix your problem independently you set yourself free. Reactivity falls away. Self-confidence grows. You drop that deadweight of anger and free up your time.
The more you resolve on your own, the more anger melts away. Recognize your own role in your past unhappiness. That way, you won’t spend another minute blaming others for your dilemma. You’ll be using your time to live your best life!
3. Proactively resolve the source of your anger.
Make the big changes to empower yourself. Create action steps to resolve your source of anger independent of others’ choices. Notice how the more power you claim over your time choices, the less power anyone else exerts over you!
There’s an added benefit. Your relationships with other people improve. People are most cooperative when they are not engaged in a tug of war. Productivity flourishes, and you accomplish more in less time!
This exercise radically shifts the balance of power in who dominates your time. Expect to be surprised, as you step beyond old patterns and develop a new level of self-awareness. By managing your anger, you will develop unparalleled skill in managing your moments.© Copyright 2012 Paula Eder, Ph.D.