Will your parents’ priorities become your destiny? Not if you seize the initiative to do some detective work! Here’s your chance to actively explore how their time choices still shape yours!
Here are 3 tips to help you build on your insights and rewrite your family scripts so you can live a more rewarding life!
Your family’s time choices taught you important messages about values.
Take a few moments to recall the family in which you grew up. How did the adults in your household spend their time? This will give you clear, concrete information about their intimate beliefs and priorities as they lived them out day by day.
What did you observe about their time choices? And quickly write down:
- What claimed top priority?
- What came last?
- What does this tell you about their values?
- How do your values align with theirs?
Your answers to these questions provide you with a solid base for exploring your current time choices and illuminating patterns you may want to change.
Unexamined patterns can have you living someone else’s life.
Your life is unique to you. However well your family’s time choices may have worked for them, they may not be a successful fit in your life today.
So, let’s look at your daily time choices. These questions provide a focus:
- Which of your time choices frustrates you?
- How does it conflict with your conscious values?
- In what ways are your time choices similar to your family’s?
Answering these questions gives you valuable information about how each of your current time patterns first developed. As you see how they reflect your upbringing, you may find it easier to examine any time trap logically, without self-consciousness or self-criticism.
Visualizations help set the scene to enact new scripts.
Throughout your childhood, you unconsciously learned from what was modeled. Now you can step free from old patterns and develop fresh potentials using this short visualization.
Set aside a block of undisturbed time:
1. Envision yourself performing a helpful day-to-day activity that you struggle to maintain. How does the struggle manifest? Where do things break down? What are you resisting?
2. Now see yourself engaging wholeheartedly. How does it feel to sustain this activity over time?
- Notice how your follow-through contributes to your overall well-being.
- Validate the benefits, as you visualize yourself sticking with it, step-by-step.
It helps to bring your positive focus to the individual steps, not just to the endpoint. After all, you spend most of your time in process, and this is generally where you encounter resistance.
By becoming more receptive to your individual action steps, you engage more productively throughout the entire span of the project.© Copyright 2012 Paula Eder, Ph.D.