It was Sunday and I woke up with an adrenaline high. I had just finished leading my one-day event with 40 amazing people in San Francisco. Jai, my partner, had helped with the event and we were staying with one of his close friends from college and her husband. That morning we went to brunch together, and then proceeded to just wander in a great neighborhood.
With every step I took, I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. I had been uncharacteristically silent during breakfast and everyone kept asking me what was wrong. The truth was that I just didn’t know. I was tired and cranky. Jai was a bit embarrassed about my silence and simply said, “She’s just tired after her event.”
That night as we were lying in bed, I picked an unnecessary fight with Jai — for no apparent reason. I just couldn’t figure out why I was so darn mad!
The following Sunday, I was taking a walk by myself in a park near my home. And as I walked on my favorite dirt path under an archway of trees, I started to realize something. Being with people after an event was not how I wanted to relax. I wanted either to be alone or to be with Jai, and I wanted to do something low-key. I was angry because I felt like Jai should know that — and that he shouldn’t have forced me to be with his friends.
But that anger was totally irrational — since he had no idea that I felt that way. And he hadn’t forced me to do anything. I just didn’t know how to take care of myself. How to soothe myself.
I find it interesting that as much as we are amazing at taking care of others — we can’t always figure out that equation for ourselves. Often we make the mistake of going with the flow and just doing whatever option is in front of us — or whatever the people around us are doing. We rarely stop and think — what does my body and mind really need right now? What do I need to do to relax?
For some of us, like Jai — being with lots of people is totally relaxing. For others, they need to be doing something active like hiking or biking to relax. For many, they need to be alone or with one good friend. Still others need to be doing something calming like receiving a massage or some other holistic treatment. And what you need may change depending on your current situation.
What do you need to do to relax? How often do you do it? Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this article — oh and how you love to relax!
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