Finding time to work with difficult feelings like fear can ultimately recharge your energy and confidence. And the good news is that it doesn’t need to eat up a lot of your time to get there.
Indeed, as you develop the habit of looking your difficult feelings right in the eye, you’ll find that it’s a big time-saver and energy boost for you. You’ll experience the added bonus of exercising a lot more positive, proactive control over your time, too, because you’ll stop taking the long way around things as an avoidance tactic.
We’ll focus specifically on fear in this post – remembering that as you work with this, you can substitute any feeling that is difficult for you.
So, to start, here’s a useful mantra. Repeat this to yourself as you begin this empowering journey: “I turn my fear into a path to my strength.”
Maybe in the past, you’ve tried to hide your fear from sight. In fact, maybe you go so far as to deny your feelings to yourself. You would rather not think of yourself as indecisive or uncommitted.
That’s a natural-enough feeling, but it’s one that actually reinforces your fears and will keep you firmly stuck in them.
There’s a far more productive way to approach your fears: consciously reframe them as challenges that will call you to develop new and exciting strengths! This puts them in a positive context, and, even more importantly, places you in a proactive (rather than a reactive) stance toward them. Right there you are taking back your power and putting yourself in charge.
That changes everything!
So, the next time you feel fear about saying no, don’t push that fear away. Greet it as a friend with important information to share.
Here are 3 questions you can ask, as you pursue a deeper understanding of your fear. Ask yourself:
- How can I turn this fear inside out? (Reframe it as an opportunity.)
- What lesson have I been trying to avoid? (Embracing it will ground and empower you.)
- How will I reinvent myself once I say no? (The assertiveness you develop will expand your potential.)
Let your imagination roam freely as you work these questions – the answers you receive may surprise you.
So … are you inspired to find even more time and increase your effectiveness, efficiency and enjoyment?
© Copyright 2011 Paula Eder, Ph.D.