Finding time for feelings is hands-down the most powerful time management skill that you can develop. Whether you are naming your feelings in the moment or looking back to find their roots, the moments that you spend exploring your emotions will energize you for whatever tasks you face.
If you think of feelings as being like colors, then it’s very helpful to know that the range and variety of your emotions is more like what you find in a 64 or 128-crayon box than the 8-crayon variety! Your feelings are as unique as your DNA, AND as fundamental. So the more you can know them the better off you’ll be.
Imagine that you are puzzled by your very strong reaction to a difficult person or a stressful situation. Or maybe you are procrastinating about a task and just can’t get past the first step. These are times when you can move ahead powerfully by looking back!
You see, when you feel things or behave in ways that seem mysterious or disturbing or just plain illogical, if you pause and look back, you are likely to discover the missing pieces. They fall into place like puzzle pieces. That’s because the heart has a logic that isn’t always apparent to the mind.
If your response to stress puzzles you, try looking back and remembering how your parents or other important people in your life responded to stress. Or remember how you felt in third grade when your homework wasn’t finished and you had to leave for school. These feelings can fuel your responses in the present – and as they become visible to you, you can make choices about how you respond to them (rather than being driven by them).
It’s a deep logic, the logic of the heart. Looking back brings your heart and mind into sync so that you can move ahead powerfully. It’s a process of unfolding that will open up doors for you that haven’t yet even imagined for yourself.
© Copyright 2011 Paula Eder, Ph.D.