One of my business mentors talks frequently about how important it is to “feel” and “be present” with yourself as you build your business.
If it’s happy, sad, funny, scary, you need to feel it.
What I heard every time she said this was, “make sure you recognize when you feel sad and then move on with it”.
So I did.
And I patted myself on my back every time I felt overwhelmed, stressed, down or unhappy because I was able to quickly switch my thoughts to something positive. “Ah-ha! I fixed myself. Now I’m back to being happy again.”
And I went along on my merry way.
What I didn’t realize is that by essentially ignoring these feelings of growth (and, have I mentioned lately that building your own business is the single most amazing self development journey you’ll ever go on?), I was keeping myself stuck.
It’s like a volcano that is ready to erupt but someone puts a plug in it.
No, not now volcano. Just keep focusing on being a great volcano and we’ll get to that hot lava stuff later.
Every time you shed another layer and reach a new level in your business, something major shifts inside you. It may feel scary. It may feel exciting. It may make you want to cry. The main thing is, let yourself feel it. Even if it’s yucky.
If the volcano needs to release and to erupt, that’s OK. Even if you are in the middle of launching a product or working with a new client or whatever it is, allowing yourself the time and space to feel, and acknowledge, whatever it is, will help you to get where you are going more quickly.
I know, it seems counter-intuitive.
But it’s not.
It’s like going to the gym and then realizing that you actually have more energy. Allowing yourself to feel gives you the ability to move fully – and more energetically – and step up and into your next level of success.
I’m really good at doing things. Give me a list, and I’m focused and I knock it out.
I’ve also tricked myself, many times, into doing too much and not allowing myself to really just feel what the heck is going on.
And, the other day, my body was sick and tired of it.
So the tears started to fall.
The tears didn’t care that I was sitting in Starbucks.
The tears didn’t care that they were landing on my laptop keys.
The tears didn’t care that I forgot to wear my waterproof mascara.
The tears just plain didn’t care.
And in that moment, it hit me: all of my “just think positive” and “just keep going” had to stop. My feelings and emotions and growth were all there, but I had been trying so desperately to keep the cork in so that they weren’t seen.
Because, in my mind, taking time to feel wasn’t efficient.
And that was where I was wrong.
The most amazing part of this experience is not only learning the value in listening and allowing myself to feel as each level of growth occurs but also the faith that I now have that no matter how stormy or cloudy it seems, there is only a short time before the sun starts to shine again.
And where I came out, on the other side of feeling the growth, is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
You and I know it can feel really hard and being your own boss isn’t always as easy as it’s supposed to be. One of the reasons that so many businesses start but don’t reach their potential is because of this necessary (and very rarely comfortable) growth process. It’s like being a child and as you grow, you get what? GROWING PAINS as your bones become bigger to support the “bigger” person that you are becoming. It’s the same thing here.
And, without the support of my coach, I wouldn’t have been able to pick up the pieces nearly as quickly and see what they look like as they are put together in a new (and beautiful) way.
When I work with clients it is about the strategies. And the tactics. And the big plan. It’s also about embracing the realness and rawness of the process and helping my clients to welcome what is going on and knowingly step forward over and over again until they have the clients, the business, and the income that they were put here to create. Without support, it’s really easy to quit or stop at the first sign of growing pains.
Please share: What have you noticed and learned as you’ve gone through your “growth” and “rebirth” cycles in your life + biz?
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