The Difference Between Choice and Obligation

By , Founder of Boldheart.com (Previously ClientAttraction.com)

Solo-E Certified Solo Entrepreneur Expert

Fabienne Fredrickson - Founder of Boldheart.com (Previously ClientAttraction.com)

If you’re like many people I know (especially if you’re a woman) you’re bending to the point of breaking…

You’re overcommitted. You’re overwhelmed. And you know that something’s got to give.

But what? Because it really feels like all of it is important. I mean, based on all of your commitments, if you had to give one up, what exactly would you not do?

What would have to go?

Just this week I spent time with a woman I adore. When she first started working with us she had a $100K business and now, just a short 36 months later, she’s into 7 figures, a million-dollar business. But…

…she is still working on gaining her life back, sometimes feeling like she’s at the breaking point, too.

Traveling all of the time, barely home for long enough to kiss her husband, and exhausted.

“Well,” I told her… “We are going to have to uplevel your business model.”

“But!?!? My clients!?! They expect me to keep working the same way I’ve always worked with them. Otherwise, they might leave.

”She felt obligated to deliver her service in the same way that they’d been accustomed to. Turns out she felt that she owed them to keep doing so.

I looked her right in the eyes. And I told her what I’m going to tell you now:

You don’t owe anybody…anything.

(Not even your clients. Not even your kids. Not even your spouse or parents.)

First, just let that sink in. I know it’s a doozy.

In business, the repercussions of you beginning to think this way will allow you to change your business model so that you make so much more and work a lot less, as we teach our Boldheart Business clients (this is one of the reasons they get results).

There is a vast distinction and difference between obligation and choice.

One means that you’re at the mercy of other people. The other is driven by you, based on what I call being “self-first,” or selfish, but in a good way.

We’re going to be discussing this in much greater detail over the coming weeks, but for now I want you to really hear me…

You don’t owe anybody anything. Not when you’ve got a $100K business or a $1MM business. Not when you’re a stay-at-home mom. And not when you’re an employee. Not when you’re on countless boards but have no time for yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t keep your commitments, of course.

What it does mean is that if your commitment needs to be modified, amended or changed – you get to change it.

You speak up when something isn’t working for you…

Even when it’s the people you think that you are obligated to “please.”

You get to have a business and life that works for you. Begin to make your choices and commitments from this foundation…

Ask yourself… “What do I want my life to look like?” And say YES to the things that are aligned to your vision, say NO to the things that aren’t, and have the courage to change the things that aren’t serving you any longer.

Be self-first, OK?

P.S. Go ahead and share this quote:

Fabienne Fredrickson is the founder of Boldheart® and Boldheart.com (formerly The Client Attraction Business School and ClientAttraction.com). Originally celebrated for the creation of The Client Attraction System®, Fabienne’s company has repeatedly been ranked by Inc. magazine as one of America’s Fastest Growing Private Companies. She is the author of the upcoming book, The Leverage Mindset: How overwhelmed 6-figure business owners reach 7 figures (and gain their life back).

© Copyright 2017 Fabienne Fredrickson
2 comments on “The Difference Between Choice and Obligation
  1. Gayle Carson says:

    Bill Gove used to say “You are responsible to them, not for them.” It is so true

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